God's perfect timing....
It might seem strange for you to hear that when Matt and I found out that it is unlikely (i use this word because I know all things are possible) that we will have our own children, that we were comforted. However, that's exactly what it was. I felt so wierd. In a moment I would have expected to be crying my eyes out, I was actually rejoicing. Here's the back story that may help you understand a little more.
As Matt said previously, we had been trying to get pregnant over the past several years and were unsuccessful. Within the last year, we had started getting some testing done and trying every "method" including taking temperature, fertility monitors, etc. with no outcome. The doctor said all of our tests were normal and everything looked good from the outside and that this would probably be something easy to fix as there are so many options for infertility these days. We had come down to the step where I had to have a procedure done where they check and see if my fallopian tubes are blocked, since all of our other testing was good. After this procedure, I get a call from the doctor saying that one of my tubes is completely blocked, but with fertility meds, I still have a great chance of getting pregnant. After a few days, I get another call from the doctor saying that she got the report of the test from the radiologist and he thinks BOTH tubes are completely blocked....this changes things, but things are still hopeful. My doctor sets me up with a specialist to discuss further treatment options. I was so nervous and excited for this appointment because I knew we would finally have a plan and an answer. I had no idea what I was in for that day. Matt and I are waiting in the lobby of the doctors office and it seems like everyone is getting called back before us. In the lobby is the cutest little African boy (not african american) who is probably about 2 years old (sounding familiar) playing and laughing and keeping us entertained while we wait. God has great foreshadowing :). We finally get called back and the doctor brings us back to his office and starts to tell us about himself. He is the top guy in his field, he knows his stuff, he has tons of experience, and he is a straight shooter. So here is the news...............................
"Both of your tubes are completely blocked. I can do surgery to repair them, but this is not very successful and on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst damage, yours are an 8 which means they can more than likely not be fixed. The only realistic option if you want to get pregnant is in vitro. There is only a 60% success rate with this procedure and yours is decreased because of your condition. This is an extremely expensive and taxing procedure. If you choose to do in vitro, I will remove both of your fallopian tubes first to increase the chances of in vitro working. This is a big decision. Call me when you decide what you want to do." Now I know you are probably thinking, how is that comforting? Again it was the weirdest thing. We went in thinking there were tons of steps before in vitro and then we are practically slapped in the face with it. All I can say is in that moment, God revealed His perfect timing and all of the puzzle pieces came together that this whole time He was preparing us for such a time as this. I wasn't sad, I didn't cry (I cry at disney commercials), I was so overwhelmed with joy that God had showed me this perfect picture that he had created and had started so long ago and even into the lobby of the doctor's office! We had an answer and it was a beautiful answer! Without God's perfect timing, it would again as my husband said been devastating, but it wasn't. God is so good!
